# 1 ) '' Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love...! ''
# 2 ) '' Age has been the perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth...! ''
# 3 ) '' Battery about to die, I am about to live !..! ''
# 4 ) '' Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly,and for the same reason...! ''
# 5 ) '' Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl...! ''
# 6 ) '' Laugh at your problems, everybody else does...! ''
# 7 ) '' Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius...! ''
# 8 ) '' After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful...! ''
# 9 ) '' Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places...! ''
# 10 ) '' If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?..! ''
# 11 ) '' I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness...! ''
# 12 ) '' Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t...! ''
# 13 ) '' When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch...! ''
# 14 ) '' My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too...! ''
# 15 ) '' I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker...! ''
# 16 ) '' Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. ..! ''
# 17 ) '' A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it...! ''
# 18 ) '' For Geeks!..! ''
# 19 ) '' The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list...! ''
# 20 ) '' Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time...! ''
# 21 ) '' A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...! ''
# 22 ) '' I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something...! ''
# 23 ) '' He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire...! ''
# 24 ) '' Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters...! ''
# 25 ) '' The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart...! ''
# 26 ) '' If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried...! ''
# 27 ) '' I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks...! ''
# 28 ) '' I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness...! ''
# 29 ) '' A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it...! ''
# 30 ) '' Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you...! ''
# 31 ) '' I want to get close with you like, shoes with laces,..! ''
# 32 ) '' Went to a fish market and shouted at them saying “What is this, a classroom?”, thereby maintaining the balance of the universe...! ''
# 33 ) '' Study economics-when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why...! ''
# 34 ) '' An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion!..! ''
# 35 ) '' I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag...! ''
# 36 ) '' I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian...! ''
# 37 ) '' Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt...! ''
# 38 ) '' Why God, why? Why beautiful girls don’t have brains!..! ''
# 39 ) '' SARCASM: Just one of the many services i offer...! ''
# 40 ) '' teeth with braces or ASentenceWithoutSpaces...! ''
# 41 ) '' Cry only for cuts and stitches not fot bastards and bitches...! ''
# 42 ) '' How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?..! ''
# 43 ) '' I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks...! ''
# 44 ) '' I’d explain it to you but I’m afraid your head might explode...! ''
# 45 ) '' If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? ..! ''
# 46 ) '' Take care of Your Status, don’t be care taker of My Status..! ''
# 47 ) '' Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company...! ''
# 48 ) '' Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night..! ''
# 49 ) '' His I.Q. is so low you can’t test it. You have to dig for it...! ''
# 50 ) '' The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room...! ''
# 51 ) '' CGPA available for adoption… can’t raise it myself...! ''
# 52 ) '' We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police...! ''
# 53 ) '' Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two...! ''
# 54 ) '' Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think...! ''
# 55 ) '' If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in a good position to kiss my ass!..! ''
# 56 ) '' A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing...! ''
# 57 ) '' I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life...! ''
# 58 ) '' Good girls are bad girls that never get caught...! ''
# 59 ) '' Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt...! ''
# 60 ) '' I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...! ''
# 61 ) '' The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...! ''
# 62 ) '' Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak...! ''
# 63 ) '' Take out ‘N’ out of FRIEND, and you are cooked!..! ''
# 64 ) '' He saw me without problems,He created YOU...! ''
# 65 ) " If there is‘MONEY’….there is a million relatives and enemies..! "
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